Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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