Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
