see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
one might say we're banned from that church
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize