Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
