Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
