I should be sponsored by Trojan
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
