where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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