You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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