did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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