You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
