Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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