Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
