Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
