I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
