I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
