??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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