just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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