shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
