oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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