you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Say something about gay babies.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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