Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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