I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize