mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
