My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I didn't shave. On purpose
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm bleeding and have questions
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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