I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
