through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
