i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
