She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize