Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
