I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
