If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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