Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Dick very happy bro
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
