I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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