Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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