Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
