another moral hangover. fuck.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
