We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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