Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
either way he was missing a nipple.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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