I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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