It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
