gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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