I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
