can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
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It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
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I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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