I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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