this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
