I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
