better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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