So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Boobs are out for the taking
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
