what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
