i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
