He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My feet surprised me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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