Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
