i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
