would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
