I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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