ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
