You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Randomize
