worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
