I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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