idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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