Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
