he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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