I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
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second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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