I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
