What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
