I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
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Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
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if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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