i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
