and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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