no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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