I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
