yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
